(2015-10-05) Winning and Losing
Winning and Losing
Summary: Kayla gets some unsolicited philosophy from the Geek.
Date: Oct. 5, 2015
Related: None

Holden is sitting at a table with a bowl of some kind of slop stuff that the kitchen folks have put together. It doesn't look very good, and from the few bites he's taken, it probably tastes like it looks. He has a notebook in front of him and he's drawing what looks like to be some kind of primitive map on it.

Kayla is just leaving the kitchen, her turn on dish duty done. Wiping slightly wrinkled hands on her jeans, she quickly lifts one to stiffle a yawn as she makes her way unhurriedly towards the door.

Holden looks up from his drawing and he smiles, "Clutch!" he calls to her. "Hey! How are ya?"

Kayla lifts he head, and drops her arm, as she twists her head around. Holden gets a faint grin, and she waves. "Hey, nerd," she teases mildly as she adjusts her path and starts towards him. "Whatcha working on?"

Holden absently corrects, "Geek," and then shrugs, "Trying to draw that gated neighborhood in town. Seeing if maybe it looks more safe or whatever than here." He sniffs, and then studies her a moment, "You okay?"

Kayla chuckles at the correction before she draws up a chair and settles down next to Holden. "Just tired," she assures him before she turns to peer down at his sketch. "What do you think, so far?"

Holden stares at her a moment, perhaps not completely believing her response. "I dunno. I know I think staying here is unwise. There's no infrastructure. We have half-power in one building. We're living in tents." He sighs, and tosses the pencil onto the paper and sits as well. "You sure you're okay?"

"I agree..so does Quinton. It'll be too damn cold in the tents, people will get sick. Badly." Kayla foretells before she watches Holden toss the pencil. "Yeah. Leg's mostly healed. Haven't been sleeping well though…that poor kitten keeps showing up."

Holden nods a little and sighs, looking downward. "Yeah." He sits there quietly for a long moment, before he looks back at her. "We should find you a fella."

That startles Kayla, and she pauses, before blinking as she slowly sits back in her seat. "Uh…why?" she asks, not sure how else to respond.

Holden shrugs, looking at the map he was drawing. "You need like… a guy to hold you." He sniffs, "So you can sleep feeling safe."

Kayla ohs softly, and stares at Holden for a long minute before looking away. "Finding whoever did that would make me feel safe. Knowing they can't do it again." The actual suggestion of 'finding a guy' is avoided. For now.

Holden nods a little, "If it WAS that Dax lady they say it was, I don't know that finding them is gonna necessarily happen." He sighs, "I just thought maybe if you had someone you'd feel safe and get some rest is all. Forget it."

Kayla smiles then, and nods before she lifts he head and eyes Holden. "Maybe. I…haven't thought about it really." she admits.

Holden furrows his brow and looks her way. "Really?" He purses his lips a bit, brow scrunching in a dismayed thoughtful way. "I sure have." He shakes his head, "Sometimes I…" He sighs, "Nevermind. It's dumb." He gives her a little smile, and then picks up the pencil.

"No, what?" Kayla insists as she leans forward slightly and reaches to settle her hand on Holden's forearm, if he'll let her.

Holden doesn't pull away, sitting the pencil down. "I just… I dunno." He shrugs, "Sometimes I miss things. The way they were, you know? My dad. My house. My apartment in Oakland. Email." He rolls his eyes, "God, email." He laughs a little. "The world feels so isolated and lonely now, I guess."

Kayla ahs softly, and she nods "I know…but I'm also scared of getting hurt if something happens. You know?" she admits, squeezing her hand before she sighs and leans back.

Holden shakes his head a little, "So many people have died…" He looks at her, "I think I'm done being afraid. I don't want all this to keep me from living any more." He sits up a little straighter.

Kayla blinks at that, and then she grins softly. "Brave man," she offers.

Holden shakes his head, "No. Not really." He sniffs, "I'm just tired of thinking like we've already lost."

Kayla continues to smile, she really can't help herself "That makes alot of sense." she admits

Holden tilts his head a bit, and her smile catches. He smiles back. "What? Are you mocking me?" he asks, a little amused.

"No…no, it really does make sense!" Kayla insists, eyes widening in innocense.

Holden laughs a little more, "You're totally messing with me, now…" He rolls his eyes and picks up the pencil again, tapping it on the notebook.

"I am not!" Kayla protests, straightening in her seat.

"Then why are you laughing at me about it?" asks Holden, who is also laughing. "Look, I just… The world is shit. Why does my life have to be? That's not so wrong, right?"

"I am not laughing at you!" Kayla insists, though her giggles are continuing. Holden is catching, it seems!

Holden slowly settles, shaking his head at Kayla. "Okay. So fine. You're not laughing at me." He stops laughing, though is still smiling. "why is this amusing to you, then?"

"You're the one that -started- with the laughing," Kayla points out, still grinning, as she eyes him. "But I never thought about it in the context of winning, or losing."

Holden nods, "It's just a big game. There's strategy. Maps. Movements. Pawns." He heh's, "Silencers." He sits the pencil down again, "We're moping around and shivering like we've already lost and are just waiting for the death blow. That's not a setting I'm interested playing in."

Giving her head a slow shake, Kayla smiles softly. "I don't understand half the stuff you say," she admits before she pushes against her knees and rises.

Holden smiles coyly, "And the other half?" he asks, brow rising a bit.

"Geek stuff," Kayla teases with a wink before she shakes her head. "Seriously though…the rest is pure brilliance.

Holden blushes a bit, and he looks downward, smiling. He returns his gaze to her and he shrugs. "…Top of my class…"

A single head bob, and Kayla grins. "Doesn't surprise me at all." she admits Stepping forward, she lightly squeezes his shoulder before yawning again. "I should go find bed"

Holden nods, "Yeah." He offers her a warm grin, "Try and really get some sleep. Things are gonna be okay. Or not. Don't let either way keep you awake."

Kayla agrees with another nod before, with a wink, she turns for the door.

Holden watches her go, quietly offering, "Night, Clutch."

"Night, geek." Kayla calls back warmly befoer she's off into the cool night

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