(2016-04-04) Revelations 1
Revelations 1
Summary: Mon spills her guts to Gabriel in the aftermath of Snapped and Their Purpose is to Divide
Date: 2016.04.04
Related: http://5thwave.wikidot.com/log:2016-04-03-snapped http://5thwave.wikidot.com/log:2016-04-04-their-purpose-is-to-divide

Monica is lying on her bed, still damp from doing laundry and spilling it. There's damp laundry hanging from strings strung across the room, quite a lot of it too small for her, some absurdly too small.

Unaware of her laundry work, Gabriel is showing up at her door, giving a small knock to the door. Stick in hand and dog at his side. Seemingly having recently gotten back. Despite being blind he's not against heading out to scavenge. Waiting for a reply, for now.

Monica looks back at the door, wondering who it is. Quinton, with more to say? Piper, with who knows what to say, or perhaps just to try and pull her other arm out of its socket? Bob, come to throw her out of camp? She doubts that last bit. It's nasty to think, but it'd take Quinton an hour at least to tell anyone else what she told him. It hasn't been that long. There's also the matter of the breathing… someone's run up the stairs a few times… or it's a dog. She fishes her pistol off the table, checks the cylinder, snaps it closed, and rests it in her lap. "Come in."

Gabriel does slowly open the door. While he can't see the laundry, he can easily identify the scent of washed clothes. With Trouble slowly moving inside. The snapping of the pistol's cylinder might be heard, if she wasn't trying to keep it quiet. Coming inside and letting Trouble move to greet the girl. With Gabriel tilting his head. "Been doing laundry?"

Monica nods slowly. "Yeah. Might want to step to the right about one step or you're going to get a baby jumper in the face." She takes a deep breath. "How've you been?"

Gabriel does offer a small smile and a nod as he does as he's told. "Okay. You?" He asks as he follows the sound of her and Trouble. "Was out. Thrift store." He offers, perhaps a bit tired as he's keeping to fewer words.

You say, "Been better." She shakes her head, wet hair pattering around her neck and shoulders. "Piper and I found a meth lab. We both got pretty freaked out, especially at each other. It got a little ugly. Nobody's seriously hurt, but Quinton took it badly. That's why you're dodging baby clothes. I figured… it was something to do, you know?""

Gabriel frowns and nods slowly. "Glad that no one was seriously hurt. How are you feeling?" He asks and moves closer. A bit worried for all of them. Nodding slowly. "Ah, good to hear. Quinton is a good guy though." He assures her. "Mind?" He asks, as he gestures to the bed. Asking to get to sit.

Monica stares at Gabriel, thinking about whether she wants someone that close to her right now. She sets the pistol over on the table. "Yes please." She scootches to make room for him.

Gabriel does sit then, sighing softly. "Sorry to drop by so late." He says, scratching his head. "I just wanted to drop something off. Though I understand if you want to be alone." Trying to read her as well as he can. "You seem jumpy." Hearing the pistol being put down on the table.

Monica squeezes her eyes shut again. "It kept me alive, you know? That I got good… that I was already good at imaginary violence… that I already had a fast draw and good aim… and no hesitation to pull the trigger. I'm alive because I'm jumpy. I just … when it was all make-believe, I could … turn it off. Go back to the real world." She scootches closer to Gabriel. "Sorry. I'm still arguing with Quinton, sounds like."

Gabriel does listen and nods, "Don't lose yourself. I had to readjust when I went blind. But I still try to keep some of me. Same now. What I mean is, you need to be able to turn it off if only for a minute." Offering his hand, palm up. Being a silent invitation. "It's fine. I hope that the two of you can work it out."

Monica looks at Gabriel, and takes the offer and settles into his arms. She thinks about it, and decides that while she'd really like to be alone, it didn't work out very well last time all this reared its ugly head, this is probably a better idea. That's her rationale, after the fact. She'll stay there unless forcably removed, even if the dog licks her ears or something.

Gabriel does seem surprised as she lean into his arms, smiling softly. Trouble running around at their legs. Then trying to jump up on the bed, if Monica allows it. "Found this and thought of you." He says as a small plastic box is offered to hear. Inside being a pair of earrings. While talking he still keeps her against him, trying to comfort her as well as he can.

Monica gasps softly and looks at them. "Oooohh…" She rests her head on Gabriel's shoulder. "Thank you…" she whispers. "I'll have to get someone to pierce my ears."

Smiling at her words, he nods. "I'm glad that you like them." He answers. At first Gabriel didn't really realize, but now he has. Mon's clearly in a way less dressed fashion than usually. Shifting some. A bite to his own lip. Trouble sniffing at Monica's back. Then finding a spot somewhere behind them.

Monica gets a cold dog nose to the lumbar spine and squirms. "Eep. Trouble… mind your nose there boy." She feels Gabriel grow uncomfortable. "It's a bikini. Don't worry. I'm decent."

Gabriel chuckles as Monica tells Trouble to be careful. To which the dog licks her hand then moving to lay down. Gabriel nodding slowly. Actually a little blushed, for once. "Good to know. Often go hugging guys in only a bikini?" He teases her. Even letting out a chuckle.

You say, "Only my father and my brothers." She rests her ear on Gabriel's shoulder and her expression falls. "I don't know what's going to happen after what I told Quinton. I'm not… an angel, basically. Jumpy, like I said. Kept me alive, like I said, but… I've been very, very violent. I've killed people.

Allowing Monica to relax some, Gabriel nods. "I think a lot has done things they do not enjoy. Be it killing, or something else." He tries to assure her. "We will see what happens between us." He assures her, smiling softly. "Just. Don't hurt any of our own." He adds, giving her a squeeze with his arm that is around her. Trying his best to not focus on the state of her clothing.

Monica sighs and rests her head against Gabriel's chest some more. That his hands are on the bare part of her hasn't really impinged yet. Can you be too upset to freak out? Apparently so. "Six people, Gabriel. Shot five. Lynched one. I mean… I shot him too… it's not like I overpowered a grown, uninjured man and strung him up. But he was alive… when I tied the rope off." Mon swallows. "It keeps me up nights, sometimes. Thinking about what I've done.

Gabriel nods slowly. "It sounds like you punish yourself enough for it all." He suggests, frowning a little bit. Touching her cheek. "It's tough, but we always try to make up for what we've done. The fact that it haunts you tells me enough to know that you are not evil." He suggests. A soft kiss to her lips.

Monica doesn't flinch away from the kiss, and kisses back gently. Her eyes are welling up with tears again. "You still don't know everything I've done," she whispers.

Gabriel nods again, "Then tell me." He offers. Eyes on her lips. Arm still resting against her skin. His other hand gently cradling her cheek.

Monica shudders. "My… father died of plague. At the end, he kept screaming "kill me… kill me… kill me…" and when he couldn't make words anymore he just screamed until he … popped. We all got splashed. My mother, my brother, and me. And we all started getting sick. When my little brother … got to the end, where dad had been, Mom took my pistol, but she couldn't pull the trigger. Not on her own son." Mon sobs quietly. "She made me do it. I reached inside myself for any strength I could find and got hold of my make-believe self, my persona for reenactment. And I did it. Two weeks later, when she begged me to shoot her too, I did it. How can I not be evil after that? What happened in Kansas… and in Nebraska… didn't come as a surprise. I knew I had it in me then, that if I… let go, I could kill again, that I could even lynch someone for… crimes against humanity, basically. I was right. And I still can. I know I can. And I probably will. Monica 's voice grinds to a halt, shut down by sobs and coughs.

Gabriel does nod slowly. "I am sorry." Trying to comfort her a bit. "If you knew that they were going to die, is it evil to let them die on their own terms? Instead of in pain?" He asks her, furrowing his brows. "Also, being able to kill might not be bad at this point. I am here to keep you grounded as well." He suggests to her. Letting her sob and cough. Just being there for her.

Monica doesn't answer, not for a long time, but other than one arm to grab her now very messy bandanna to wipe her mouth and blow her nose again she doesn't let go of Gabriel either. Far from it. If she were drowning it'd be hard to say she'd cling more tightly. "I asked myself that… when I was on the road, listening to the rain on the shell of my wagon, when the snow was whispering over it, over thousands of miles of empty roads and wrecked cars and corpses everywhere… but when push came to shove, I did it again. And when the freak… the camo kid from Fremont came looking for me, I shot him the first time his back was turned. After the first time, you just stop hesitating, but… I can still hear him scream once in a while.

Gabriel nods as he listens, smiling softly. "Don't lose yourself." He tells her. "I am here to help." He offers and holds her tight. "Would you shoot me?" He asks, keeping her close. Another kiss to her cheek.

Monica squeezes her eyes shut, trying to imagine, then trying not to imagine. "You'd have to do something so bad… I don't think you could. I don't think it's in you to do something that bad.

Gabriel smiles and nods, "Well, I am sure that I can protect myself. Though usually people don't attack a blind man. I think I would stab someone with my knife if they hurt my friends." He offers, chuckling softly. "I will just assume that I am safe from your wrath then."

Monica sighs and reaches under her pillow to withdraw her Bowie knife. "Careful. Very sharp." She nudges Gabriel's hand with the hilt of it. "I've never… used it in anger. Unless you count cutting rope.

Gabriel nods, slowly taking the knife. "No worries, I know how to handle a knife." He assures her. Moving the knife without missing a beat. "It's a good knife." Then a small smile, if slightly weak. "If you couldn't control yourself then you'd already shot me. The first time I walked in on accident."

Monica looks up at Gabriel and nods. "I worry about that though. That someone will come in here and I won't be awake enough to tell who they are, or I'll just… do it automatically." She looks down. "It's pathetic that every guy I've met here has had to look at the business end of my pistol at least once. But with a silencer around, do I dare even try to cut that down? It might be the only chance I'd have.

Gabriel grins, "Well, I haven't stared it down." He offers a bit playfully. Since he's blind. Instead nodding at her last words. "If silencers show up, hopefully you will hear it in advance." Sighing softly. "I could stay in here. Perhaps find a couch to put in here? If you're worried." Which, if she has heard any talk around the place might be quite hard for him. Since he's a bit of a loner during the days.

Monica shakes her head a little. "I think I need to talk to Amy and try to get my head screwed on a little straighter before I share a room with someone." It slowly dawns on her that she's in Gabriel's arms, has been for a while, and that she's showing an awful lot of skin. She blushes. "Or a bed." She looks up at him, and wishes eye contact was natural for him, then leans up to kiss him, and lingers there a while.

Gabriel nods, "Do so." He tells her. Since his hand is still on her cheek he can tell that she seem to blush a bit. "Yeah, or a bed." Then feeling her lips on his. Not minding letting it linger. Letting his hand drop to lay on her thigh instead. The other still around her.

Monica kisses Gabriel until it starts to feel normal. She breaks the kiss only slowly, reluctantly. "Thank you. For listening, for not… running away. I'll try to get better." She pauses. "Would you… mind… kissing me again?"

Gabriel nods and smiles, "Of course I am here, not running." He assures her and then hearing the words, chuckling softly. Leaning over her just a bit as he kisses her again. Causing Trouble to stare at them a bit. Not quite disturbing them, yet.

Monica draws both arms around Gabriel and kisses hip back. She finds herself wondering what the dog must think, or what this must look like. She doesn't feel that way, not much. The tenderness is what matters now. The lack of the other is what makes it far less awkward, for now.

Well, Trouble does seem to move around a bit, occasionally sniffing at them. Causing Gabriel to chuckle softly. Though his attention is mostly on Monica. "Are you okay?" He asks, biting his lip. Keeping her close.

Monica shakes her head, figuring he can feel the motion in her shoulder, or hear her hair moving. "Not yet. But I'm better than I was."

Gabriel nods and smiles. "I'm glad to hear." Being there for her. Kissing her cheek. "I'll stay as long as you want. It seems, so will Trouble."

Monica lies back slowly, and tries to nudge Gabriel with her. She's exhausted. It was a busy day before… laundry and all that … and as upset as she's been and as much crying as she's done, not to mention baring the emotional wound that practically defines her… has left her drained. Hugs, kisses, and tenderness plus drained Monica plus warm dog equals sleepy.

Gabriel does lay down with her. Wrapping an arm around her. Trouble laying against the other side of Monica. Letting the girl relax some. Not minding, just looking after her.

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